Notoriously head over heels for her beloved Romeo, Shakespeare’s Juliet might not have had beer on her mind when she—somewhat rhetorically—asked, “What’s in a name?” She was, however, undoubtedly intoxicated (with love). Just in case it’s not obvious, we love beer here at Drinktanks. But, we also love the ridiculously clever names of craft beers. It only made sense for us to put together a list of some of the best beer names because that which we call a beer, by any other name would taste so sweet.
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
- Evil Genius Beer Company | Philadelphia, PA
- ABV: 6.70%
On the surface, this beer name is as seemingly as absurd as it sounds. The moment you read it, you’re probably imagining exactly what the name implies, but it’s actually an apt play on a common non-sequitur. The phrase’s origins are, arguably, rooted in The Simpsons—but this is just palpably ironic hearsay. “Purple Monkey Dishwasher” is said to characterize the endless distortion of facts as they are passed from person to person—but don’t take our word for it. Never mind the treachery of images, this is a completely different animal that has us wondering what this beer was originally called… and if it’s even a beer. How deep does this really go?
Citra Ass Down!
- Against The Grain Brewery & Smokehouse | Louisville, KY
- ABV: 8.20%
Against the Grain’s American style IPA is one honest brew. This hop forward beer will, indeed, put you on your ass. Despite the high alcohol content and super forward American hops, it’s incredibly drinkable thanks to its citrus overtones. We recommend doing yourself a favor and abiding by this beer’s name—which incidentally also serves as a warning label—and sitting yourself down; falling over will hurt less that way.
- Pinthouse Pizza Craft Brewpub | Austin, TX
- ABV: 4.50%
Disclaimer: an unapologetic use of terrible puns and obligatory references follows. Wondering what beer to try next? Oatie-wan Kenobi may very well be your only hope. Those other beers are not the beers you’re looking for. While it may not boast the highest alcohol content around, this beer certainly has the high ground. Not only does Pinthouse’s brew have one of the best beer names, it’s also a splendidly tasteful coffee stout that’s a real force to be reckoned with.
The Light That Spills Out Of The Hole In Your Head
- Tired Hands Brewing Company | Ardmore, PA
- ABV: 6.00%
As far as names of craft beers go, The Light that Spills Out Of The Hole In Your Head might be among the most verbose. You could easily mistake it for a mid-to-late 2000’s indie band, and in many ways, it plays out like one. It’s inviting and hoppy, yet well-refined and balanced. It knows what it wants to be and doesn’t miss a beat. To differentiate itself, this beer is uniquely brewed in clementine zest and juice. The result leaves a wonderful culmination of citrus and pine on your tongue that tantalizes and lingers. You’ll want another taste the moment you put your glass down.